Claiming our Boundary
How our Bodies Can Change our Minds
Very often retrainer’s experience false messages about our bodies. Even though we may not be comfortable feeling sensations, we can still find a settled place inside. Even if it’s a baby toe, identifying where we feel settled is a powerful anchor in all stages of recovery. This stabilizes us during retraining and helps us understand how we relate to the world around us. Having conscious awareness of our personal boundary and how we hold our posture can be life changing. Once we become more aware of our visceral relationship with the world and others, it becomes easier to shift into new ways of being.
When we reinforce our state of empowerment, we retrain with integrity. Accessing our power changes our response to the world in a fundamental way and overcomes the tricky ways our mind may fool us. Think about the idea of our ‘gut reaction” or the phrase “my heart just isn’t in it”? Relying on our body knowing can be a change of orientation but it can anchor us into greater self knowing Feeling into our personal space of strength is one of foundations of Somatic Experiencing © practice. Based on the work of Peter Levine, this practice includes knowing how it is to claim our space. The power of viscerally feeling into our own space can bring us into greater alignment with ourselves as it helps us recalibrate into our optimal state.
Moving into our Authencity: Knowing our” Yes”and our” No”
Often we say yes when we mean no. Overriding our truths can lead to feelings of confusion, distrusting ourselves and even shame. The roots of this behavior are based on survival strategies we have used from an early age. Children naturally adapt to get their needs met even if it overrides their innate impulses. Wanting to fit into our tribe is an innate impulse, though we may contort ourselves away from who we are. We then understand our childhood strategies are maladaptive as we move into adulthood. We may feel impeded on the road to fulfilling our life’s purpose. On a more nuanced note, there is stronger impact when we understand whether the pattern comes from a fight, flight, freeze, fawn or even dissociative response. This impacts our body.
Being an Empath
While empaths frequently have many gifts that can be an essential support in many fields, we don’t always think about the the roots of this gift. Many sensitive people are empaths. Tracing the roots of this behavior, it is often an early need to track our caretakers. Though empathy often results in the gift of reading others, and can be of benefit, it can come at a price. This is a survival instinct that at one point kept us feeling safe. As time passes, it may become apparent that it is a maladaptive pattern; a double tracking that results in overriding our own needs. One first step is to know it is no longer necessary, but since this may occur from our earliest experience, it may take some time to retrain. Another benefit of feeling into our boundaries allows us to experience greater flow and vitality.
When we declare our personal space, we may feel a lifetime of stuff that isn’t ours, old messages we have received from others. It is very liberating to release from the bondage of holding other’s shame. Retraining offers an amazing opportunity to shift from this relational dynamic to greater self love and peace. .”Shadow holding”© impacts huge spectrum of people. It is often the cause of shame, and power inequality. Its roots may lie in not speaking our truth, or misdirected messages from others. It may helpful to know that holding shame is widespread. This is a collective experience which especially impact women, children and disenfranchised communities. Feeling into our boundaries is the starting point to energetically giving back what doesn’t belong to us and retrieving what we have given away. This awarness can be a release any result of disempowering relationships.This is a way of viscerally clearing.
The first simple process of finding greater boundary awareness. This is the starting for other boundary processes
Ideally, have another person present with you.
Take time to find a comfortable place inside your space through exploration.
Try different postures and power positions and words to and claim your space
The following is recording to support this, in another way.
My Reflections :
It wasn’t until I trained in Somatic Experiencing that I had the chance to consciously understand my boundaries through the practices shared above. I understood the roots of the gifts I developed, I had mixed gifts being an empath. Even though. I have used this gift to help others: I unpacked my own double tracking of others. I hadn’t realized how much I was double tracking and was involved in many codependent relationships. I am still working on my “fix it” mentality towards loved one. I recognize this was what I did when I didnt get my needs met, the other tendency was to change myself to as an attempt to meet the needs of my caretakers. I have been retraining on just these patterns.. Often my Pops were deeply connected to these old patterns, and I felt retraining very clearly during key “golden opportunities” When I experienced my perfect storm, it took some time to move my focus from outside triggers to a greater self trust.
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