https://www.rewiringyourwellness.com/post/claiming-our-boundary-for-retraining

Claiming our Boundary 

How our Bodies Can Change our Minds

Very often retrainer’s experience false messages about our bodies. Even though we may not be comfortable feeling sensations, we can still find a settled place inside. Even if it’s a baby toe, identifying where we feel settled is a powerful anchor in all stages of recovery. This stabilizes us during retraining and helps us understand how we relate to the world around us. Having conscious awareness of our personal boundary and how we hold our posture can be life changing. Once we become more aware of our visceral relationship with the world and others, it becomes easier to shift into new ways of being.

 As we assert our boundary, we experience a sense of empowerment. Creating our boundary helps us orient in the world and results in greater feelings of safety. We may begin this process by simply observing old patterns while we step into new ones. A start maybe to notice our body posture when we are feeling activated. By simply observing our posture we can shift old patterns. Its like smiling, even if you don’t feel like it. The body doesn’t care if you are faking it, smiling helps us. The greatest sense of empowerment happens when we FEEL into our optimal selves.

 Our posture changes our chemistry. This is demonstrated by Amy Cutty’s Ted Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7dWsJ-mEyI.Shifting into a felt sense of our optimal state anchors us. Have you noticed that future and past visualizations offer more goosebumps when we include a sensual experience of them? For many retrainers, it may not be right or comfortable to feel inside. This is why focusing on what is most grounded in our bodies serves our retraining. There are other ways to feel the edge of even the space around us.

When we reinforce our state of empowerment, we retrain with integrity. Accessing our power changes our response to the world in a fundamental way and overcomes the tricky ways our mind may fool us. Think about the idea of our ‘gut reaction” or the phrase “my heart just isn’t in it”? Relying on our body knowing can be a change of orientation but it can anchor us into greater self knowing Feeling into our personal space of strength is one of foundations of Somatic Experiencing © practice. Based on the work of Peter Levine, this practice includes knowing how it is to claim our space. The power of viscerally feeling into our own space can bring us into greater alignment with ourselves as it helps us recalibrate into our optimal state.

 

 

Moving into our Authencity: Knowing our” Yes”and our” No”

Often we say yes when we mean no. Overriding our truths can lead to feelings of confusion, distrusting ourselves and even shame. The roots of this behavior are based on survival strategies we have used from an early age. Children naturally adapt to get their needs met even if it overrides their innate impulses. Wanting to fit into our tribe is an innate impulse, though we may contort ourselves away from who we are. We then understand our childhood strategies are maladaptive as we move into adulthood. We may feel impeded on the road to fulfilling our life’s purpose. On a more nuanced note, there is stronger impact when we understand whether the pattern comes from a fight, flight, freeze, fawn or even dissociative response. This impacts our body.

 Knowing our truth can be expedited by a few basic processes. Shifting from life long patterns allows us to speak our truth and trust ourselves. We begin to know our life purpose, gain self respect and have the courage to manifest what we want.

Being an Empath

While empaths frequently have many gifts that can be an essential support in many fields, we don’t always think about the the roots of this gift. Many sensitive people are empaths. Tracing the roots of this behavior, it is often an early need to track our caretakers. Though empathy often results in the gift of reading others, and can be of benefit, it can come at a price. This is a survival instinct that at one point kept us feeling safe. As time passes, it may become apparent that it is a maladaptive pattern; a double tracking that results in overriding our own needs. One first step is to know it is no longer necessary, but since this may occur from our earliest experience, it may take some time to retrain. Another benefit of feeling into our boundaries allows us to experience greater flow and vitality.

Shadow holding

When we declare our personal space, we may feel a lifetime of stuff that isn’t ours, old messages we have received from others. It is very liberating to release from the bondage of holding other’s shame. Retraining offers an amazing opportunity to shift from this relational dynamic to greater self love and peace. .”Shadow holding”© impacts huge spectrum of people. It is often the cause of shame, and power inequality. Its roots may lie in not speaking our truth, or misdirected messages from others. It may helpful to know that holding shame is widespread. This is a collective experience which especially impact women, children and disenfranchised communities. Feeling into our boundaries is the starting point to energetically giving back what doesn’t belong to us and retrieving what we have given away. This awarness can be a release any result of disempowering relationships.This is a way of viscerally clearing.

Feeling our feelings
Not feeling our feelings is often what keeps us stuck. There are ways to comfortably experience what we feel: in a very titrated way, so we do not feel experience overwhelm. Releasing cross wiring of events is also called over coupling by the somatic experiencing community and is comprised from having a few impulses simultaneously. Uncoupling can be an act of bravery depending on where one is in their retraining. Understanding our personal boundary is fundamental as we begin this process. Once we activate greater personal space, we gain a sense of greater safety and our interactions with others changes. Many laughter yoga groups use the phrase, “Me” not “me” this practice supports just that.

The first simple process of finding greater boundary awareness. This is the starting for other boundary processes

 create a circle or other shape with a rope.
  1. Ideally, have another person present with you.

  2. Take time to find a comfortable place inside your space through exploration.

  3. Try different postures and power positions and words to and claim your space

The following is recording to support this, in another way.

My Reflections :

It wasn’t until I trained in Somatic Experiencing that I had the chance to consciously understand my boundaries through the practices shared above. I understood the roots of the gifts I developed, I had mixed gifts being an empath. Even though. I have used this gift to help others: I unpacked my own double tracking of others. I hadn’t realized how much I was double tracking and was involved in many codependent relationships. I am still working on my “fix it” mentality towards loved one. I recognize this was what I did when I didnt get my needs met, the other tendency was to change myself to as an attempt to meet the needs of my caretakers. I have been retraining on just these patterns.. Often my Pops were deeply connected to these old patterns, and I felt retraining very clearly during key “golden opportunities” When I experienced my perfect storm, it took some time to move my focus from outside triggers to a greater self trust.

 All material is ©️ 2021
 Bio
 Jennifer leads play shops and certifies others as Hypnosis Practitioners through the National Guild of Hypnotists.http://clearmindarts.com/training/ She holds an MA in Consciousness studies/Transpersonal Psychology and an MFA in sculpture. She is an integral and somatic experiencing practitioner certified in Pediatric, Medical, Life Between Lives ™, expressive arts, sand play, and journey dance™️ She has been offering healing sessions and personalized recordings and processes since 1997. She is currently developing a seven week intergral journey towards recovering the authentic self. A seasoned practitioner, she has worked with hundreds of clients. One of the highlights of her work is bringing arts programming for children in Pediatrics at Vassar Brothers medical center. To schedule an online or in person session: sandplay555@gmail.com or Izlind.com
 Since birth Jennifer has displayed food sensitivities which were an early indication of limbic issues. She has overcome innumerable health and emotional issues but chooses not to look back at this moment. One of the jewels of her journey is the wisdom of her practice.

For more links and directories & professional associations

Clearmindarts.com

https://www.newtoninstitute.org/life-between-lives-therapist/jennifer-axinn-weiss/260/

for a video of my work